Pregnant Pause - Reflections on Depression During Pregnancy

A young mom shares her experiences with depression during pregnancy.

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Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Floating

We went to parent night last night, which helped to alleviate our fears somewhat. We did learn that Brandon is the problem child in the class, but that he's also one of the youngest (if not the youngest). The teacher seems a little more human to me now. We'll meet with her tomorrow morning for a one-on-one conference. I still had a crying fit last night, partially regretting my decision to send him to school instead of homeschooling, and wondering if I've forced myself into a permanent decision because of his excitement over school.

I stayed up late Saturday night and haven't been able to recoup my sleeping pattern (what little it was), so I'm fighting to keep my eyes open. I haven't sewn since last week because I'm so tired and I'm scared that I'm letting it slip. I just can't force myself to the sewing table right now.

I need desperately to do dishes and laundry - Brandon is running out of school clothes and we've begun to eat cereal out of take-along containers since the bowls are all dirty. The living room floor is beginning to look like a confetti pattern from all the lint and crumbs that need to be vacuumed up, and I can't remember the last time I made the bed. At least you don't have to make a path through the living room yet. Maybe I'll perk back up before it gets that bad.

To make matters worse, the mother cat has apparently taken the kittens away. I haven't seen them in days. I was so hoping to befriend them and have pets again. I miss having pets. I haven't had a pet in almost 8 years. I grew up with cats and haven't had one in over 10 years. I'd love to cuddle a cat and hear it purring right now. It would be so wonderful.

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